Hey! I'm Edward. I'm a writer, entrepreneur, and I've got a voice like an angel--please contain your jealousy.

KiNdAfaBuLous

No matter where we are, or who we become, we will always be PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRLS (who love tacos+margaritas). @lesliegrossman (at Marix Tex Mex Restaurants)

No matter where we are, or who we become, we will always be PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRLS (who love tacos+margaritas). @lesliegrossman (at Marix Tex Mex Restaurants)

jimnasium:

     Here are my sweeties. First, there’s Diego From the City. He didn’t go to the wedding, only the reception, so the shorts and scruff are totally acceptable. His skin, so soft. His thighs, so thick. His brain, so big. Ohhhh-kay, moving on.

     The second guy, who was a friend of a friend, looked like the Tunisian version of Mark Ruffalo. But it wasn’t just his looks that attracted me, it was the way he carried himself. His slinky body, mannerisms, and way he glided across the floor that totally suggested a gay bone. He was gentle and kind, and really smart, speaking English better than any other person there. I smelt gayness and tried my hardest to befriend him, hoping that maybe I’d get my wedding BJ, but he smelt gay back and knew that I was trouble. Not wanting to draw negative attention, he kept his distance and we played a game of cat and mouse the entire wedding. Or maybe he was just straight? Either way, I’d give him my green card. 

Babe, I respect your crazy so much.

I mean, have you ever seen a more perfect entry table?? #EliseElliot #Icon #tbt

I mean, have you ever seen a more perfect entry table?? #EliseElliot #Icon #tbt

Before there was Michael Sam, there was @edwardhansen #32 #never4get

Before there was Michael Sam, there was @edwardhansen #32 #never4get

Tonight is the Pisces Full Moon, so I’ve decided to drink my spritzer out of Charlene, because Charlene represents everything positive, hopeful, and lovely. Also, Charlene loves Elvis, and she believes in “signs”, and she once dated a guy named “Shadow,” so cheers to you Charlene and this Pisces Moon 🌠🌝🌚

Tonight is the Pisces Full Moon, so I’ve decided to drink my spritzer out of Charlene, because Charlene represents everything positive, hopeful, and lovely. Also, Charlene loves Elvis, and she believes in “signs”, and she once dated a guy named “Shadow,” so cheers to you Charlene and this Pisces Moon 🌠🌝🌚

"It’s better to be looked over than overlooked"-Mae West

"It’s better to be looked over than overlooked"-Mae West

OMG I’m a MEME!

OMG I’m a MEME!

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN @itsmolls #drunkhistory #FIRSTLADIES #❤️

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN @itsmolls #drunkhistory #FIRSTLADIES #❤️

Guys, Nordstrom’s Rack just gets me.

Guys, Nordstrom’s Rack just gets me.

Obviously, Gia has been slaying the sweetest, most precious, most gorgeous puppy game for a minute now, but I really couldn’t have dreamed up a more perfect creature to love, love, love ❤️❤️❤️ #NationalDogDay

Obviously, Gia has been slaying the sweetest, most precious, most gorgeous puppy game for a minute now, but I really couldn’t have dreamed up a more perfect creature to love, love, love ❤️❤️❤️ #NationalDogDay

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