January 2012
Diablo Cody on Why We're All Narcissists →
When I crowned myself “President of the Narcissistic Whore’s Club” sometime ago, this idea of “we’re all narcissists”-is almost the exact idea I had in mind.
The modern concept of casual narcissism-explored by Diablo Cody on this brief article on her film, Young Adult, is what I always think of when I refer to myself as a “narcissist.” Moreover,...
My Top 5 Most Astonishing Things of the Week (So...
1. I’m astonished to find out that Republican Presidential Candidate, Mitt Romney, earned over $42.7 Million Dollars in 2 years and paid about 14% in taxes (approx. $6.2 million in taxes); and 80% of the American Public also pays just under 15% in taxes. My mouth dropped at the figure because a) it makes him one of the wealthiest presidential candidates in history b) taxes are still one of...
Anonymous asked: Ed! I'm such a fan. You're genuine and I think it's cool you put your life out there on the internet. I fuckin love your extraordinary sense of humor and witty personality. You probably think I'm some desperate cyber stalker, but aside from that, I'm also a 3rd year at UCSB haha. I've picked up some of your colloquialisms and mad charm. I hope you don't read this...
The Real Life Raven-That's Not So Raven
High above my charming, suburban I.R.L. Gingerbread House/English cottage, there lives a giant bird of prey. He or she resides in the massive, sequoia-esque pine tree in my front yard. As you all may know (or may not know if you’re new to my blog), I am terrified of birds. Their nervous, fluttery energy petrifies me, and I’m always scared that I’ll be clawed by a bird and...
Real Talk-Disappointment
Despite what you may gather from this blog, I am not a confrontational person. Who needs it, right? Like, who needs a tense, stressful confrontation in the midst of all of the mundane, “everyday stress” of life? I certainly don’t. I don’t like being upset or disappointed in people, but sometimes-people disappoint me.
And I think it’s all the more jarring and...
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Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of
Finally, finally, finally (Cece Peniston voice) I have booked a trip to New York. It’s been ages (approximately 1 year) since I’ve been to New York, and I cannot wait! Even though I’m a Los Angeles native (2 Live and Die in L.A. 4 Life), New York still reigns as one of the loveliest, most eclectic, most amazing places I have ever been to-and I know, “it’s just New...
How Tears Go 'Pac-Man' To Beat Bacteria →
This article states that lysozyme, a naturally occuring enzyme in tears, functions as a biological “Pac-Man”: “Each tear you shed contains an army of these enzymatic Pac-Men, ready to chase down and gobble up germs before they infect the sensitive tissues around your eye.”
Growing up-my father would always be like, “Edward, boys don’t cry.” And...
STOP THE CAR!!!
My Dad and I just had a really huge fight. It was a pretty formidable blowout-all in the space of our office (and out in the parking lot too [I take it out to the parking lot sometimes when I really need to yell]). Unlike most of the other fights we have, this one really wasn’t my fault per se; nonetheless, my father got upset to such a degree that I actually worried he might have a stroke...
Suggestions at Starbucks
This girl sitting in front of me at Starbucks is talking so loudly about her dysfunctional family on her cell phone-that it’s actually distracting me from my work. Can’t she just get a blog and write about it in poignant silence like the rest of us? Although let’s be honest: I’m not really one to talk about or pass judgment about making scenes in Starbucks…
SOPA, PIPA, BLUE IVY
Today’s main concerns
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“I ain’t interested in nobody right now, but at the same time I ain’t...”
– Edward Hansen
Russell Simmons Addresses Blue Ivy Carter... →
I am so not shocked that “a church sign in North Carolina was supposedly ‘vandalized’ and the words “Beyonce had her baby, [and] Satan is on earth” appeared on it.” Clearly, some people are fucking crazy-such is life. Also, I could read about the illuminati/esotercism for the next five years straight and never be bored. Reading further into this, I was really...