May 2009
Attention older gay men: I'm not just a HOLE
Just had a very weird online interaction with someone…. I’ve done the online dating thing for a while, and it blows me my mind how quickly (some) older men are willing to objectify me via email. It’s not cute, classy, attractive, appealing, or acceptable. If you think I’m gonna respond to you detailing how you’d like to penetrate me, then you must have lost your...
My dad walked into my room, saw the Grey...
Just a little . Pills are for PUSSIES.
This is what my friends had to say on Facebook in...
Edward Hansen one of my XENON lights turned PINK-like I’ve been driving around LA shining a HOT PINK Light on everyone’s bumpers
10:33am · Comment · Like . Unlike · Show Feedback (7) Hide Feedback (7)
You and Alexis Hyde like this.
Alexis Hyde likes this.
Anica Escalante at 10:40am May 29
Loves it. Just tell people it’s for breast cancer.
Andrew Morey at 10:46am May...
Last night, one of my XENON lights spontaneously...
So I’ve been driving around LA with a HOT PINK light.
La Vie en Rose status :)
“I GOT YOUR CRAZY”
– Coming from Britney Spears-that statement is particularly multi-layered and I appreciate that.
“Happy [Edward] Wife=Happy Life”
– Teresa from RHOFNJ aka me
So I think I might have mentioned a few hundred...
This past month, a lot of sport fishing companies (companies who take dudes on their boats with a bunch of beer so they can fish) have been coming in to buy bait squid. Yesterday, they asked me to make a delivery down to Pier Point Landing, so I convinced my Dad that it would be super fun and really old timey if we packed up the car with 10 cases of squid and delivered it down to Pier Point,...
In all fairness, I can't take credit for that. ...
Me: I don't like that girl.
Ed: All white people look the same to me.
Ed, there's no shame in turning down a guy at a... →
molls:
That’s not being awkward, that’s called having standards. Not even high standards. Not even The Standard Downtown. Just regular standards.
I love you, although it shamed him pretty bad. He was like, “ok thanks,” but you’re right; if you can’t tell zoo animals apart… muffin shop = CLOSED.
“Hey there, so like, he is wearing the same shirt as you… =some dude...”
– and that’s why I’m SINGLE folks. Just keepin it awkward on the daily.
some motherfucker threw a rock through my...
masshole:
and shattered it. they better hope he doesnt find out who did it.
“you want me to send some guys over to his work to beat his ass?”
Song Association
There is at least one song that I associate with each one of my close friends. It’s “their” song belonging to no other person but them. The song is usually derived from some awesome memory. It’s the soundtrack that I envision them walking down the street to»>
The LIST:
Wifey: (There’s too many for you but the most recent song I envision you walking down...
The Funnest/Hoodest Skating Rink in most of...
I used to go to W.O.W. all the time with my friend, Eric. Eric’s dad would drop us off, and we would get BUCKWILD on the skating rink. There always seemed to be some kind of fight every time I was there, and I also believe that there might have been a shooting or two there in its day, but nonetheless, W.O.W. is a riduculously fun time. The DJ has always been on point, the people are buck,...
new slang via my hilarious husband
molls:
“Ofcoursicle” = A popsicle flavored like “of course”.
Just one of my many “WORD DIAMONDS” you guys.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
p.s. Your friend, WHYARU SOADORBS
, called, call him Back!
LOVE MY WIFE :)
Apologizing to people while making them RELIVE...
For instance, “I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch, it’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed”=BALLLER. This is only coming into my mind because I think I may owe an apology to a gap-toothed individual, and I really don’t want to apologize, because I believe them to be a bad person, who was only treating me decently out of respect, not out of general...
Urban Dictionary: "Set it OFF" →
I’ve been using ‘set it off’ a bunch for the past few months. In fact, I almost SET IT OFF on Sunday with this kid from BC. Almost. Although, my first stream of consciousness association with Set it off will always be the movie with Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett-it was nuts/loved it.
Last night I got blazed with Nathan, walked to...
We got pastrami sandwiches.
We got macaroni salad.
We got pickles.
We even got Duck Liver Pate + Water Crackers
Then….
We got tons of deserts.
Then…
We walked home.
Turned on Sopranos
And talked about what a delicious Feast we had
Last night, a man approached me in Weho and asked...
There you have it. I was sitting at “the” pizza place in weho where all the gays gather, and this rando dude, who I’m pretty sure just got out of jail, walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to shave his chest. Clearly, he wasn’t a psycho or anything like that, but nonetheless, I sensed that this was a fetish, and farbeit for me to deny someone of indulging in their...
Real Housewives of New Jersey....I know....
I know it’s bad tv, but I can’t help myself, I LOOOVE the Real Housewives of OC, NYC, HOTLANTA, and now…New Jersey. I had the good fortune of matriculating with a lot of kids from Jersey, and they totally lived up to my expectations. One of my best friends, Dina, aka DJ Anomaly, is from Bergen County»Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey. Dina is very special: she’s overtly...
“I made EDWARD laugh today.”
– my coworker
“You can’t CHEAT if you ain’t tied down, right?”
– me tellin the truth to the ladies in my office
“IF you’re gonna PLAY, YOU DON’T PLAAAAY WITHOUT THE TON-TON!”
– Tonya (The L word) but I just cracked up imagining Tonya Harding saying this= GIGGGLES
“COMPUTERS????!??? THATZ FUCKED UP SHIT.”
– Whisper (from Mi Vida Loca) 