December 2010
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Toronto, Je T'Aime
It’s no secret that I love Canada, specifically Toronto. Back in 2006, yours truly spent an extended period of time exploring the great city of Toronto all by myself. When you’re all by yourself in a big city, and you’re forced to go out and interact, it’s one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have because you’re forced to be strong, adventurous, and...
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When GIFS imitate Life
This is what’s going on right now in my work life:
GIFSoup
Subsequently, this is how I’m feeling:
GIFSoup
Sometimes, a GIF is better than words.
November 2010
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On the subject of CAPS LOCK.
I was just reading an email from one of my employees sent to me back in May, and she used CAPS LOCK in the entire email. It’s cracking me up because I was just thinking about how easily it is to misinterpret the tone of an email written in caps lock. I know that my employee was just lazy and forgot to turn off her caps lock (she meant absolutely nothing by the CAPS), and I realize that in...
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101 Dalmatians and Things I'm Not Proud to...
Ok, so I’m sure we have all done stuff in our lives that we aren’t really proud to admit. I have a ton of stuff like that in my life. It’s mostly stuff that I won’t readily admit to doing because the truth is either really outrageous, really embarrassing, or just really bad; so I tend to reserve the truth for an appropriate time when I’m ready to acknowledge the...
scrunchieonthedoorknob asked: I'm in my last year at grad school and its finals week... I just spent 8 hours at the library studying and didn't once go to your blog. Thats huge for me, love reading your stuff! Keep up the great work :)
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Pluses and Minuses
Minus-so I borrowed my company’s atm card to get some cash out for the evening, and I am pretty sure that I lost the ATM card.
Plus-I looked gorgeous in this really cool, pinkish deep crew-neck sweater.
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Girltalk
My friend David: So have you heard the new Girltalk?....
Me: Oy Please...is the Pope a homophobe?
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Just Like Heaven
I just spent fifteen minutes-listening to The Cure’s “Just like Heaven.” Oh, did I mention that I’m 3 cocktails in, thinking about men that I’ve loved over the past 5 years, and sitting alone in of my car in the parking lot of my Church before I go into Mass.
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Erin Brockovich Impressions on Black Friday
Sister: Did you finish up all the billing?
Me: No...
Sister: Why did you come into the office today if you didn't plan on working? Let's not get off on the wrong foot here...
Me: Oh really? Well that's all you got, lady! Two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes!
Sister: Dad and I don't appreciate your impressions or your humor...
Me: Everyone loves Erin Brockovich. Go fuck yourselves.
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Freaky Fridays: The "Home for the Holidays"...
Do you guys ever feel like Holly Hunter’s character in Home for the Holidays? Wait, that’s a dumb question, this is Tumblr: of course you do! And It’s totally how I feel too! Actually, I feel like a hybrid between Holly Hunter’s character and Robert Downey Jr’s character, because they are both the oddly normal, slightly less fucked up characters in that film. I...
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Foreign Born Mothers and Native, Non-Native...
Since I speak a lot of Spanish at work (many of my employees don’t speak English), you’d think I’d be super proficient in all aspects of speaking Spanish, but it just isn’t so. Often, I struggle with certain verb conjugations and the like. What always amazes me that I’m not a better speaker considering my mother is actually from Panama, and I was basically raised by...
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Mini Ketchup Cups and Real Love
I just walked across the street to my local old school 70s diner for a burger and fries, and while I was there I had one of my, “Edward, why are you so gross? moments.” See: I have a thing about ketchup in that I need a LOT of it. While some people like ranch, mustard, or even absurd amounts of pepper; I like ketchup. Let’s just say that if one day, a doctor operated on me,...
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“This speaks to a bigger picture here that certainly scares me in terms of our...”
– Oh, Sarah Palin, never change! (via mediaite)
She may not be the leader we want, but she might be the one we deserve. She’s certainly the one most reflective of the country as a whole. But so was Bush, so what’s the worst that could happen?
(via spytap)
This. (via writer-a)
OF COURSE SHE...
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GIF'fin Out
Guys-
I would like to apologize in advance for all my GIF reblogs, but they’re just too fabulous for me not to post them. I derive the greatest pleasure from these little, moving, socially relevant pictures.
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The White Sade: Before you read this, I’m going to... →
sade:
Before you read this, I’m going to apologize in advance for its incoherency. I tried my best to take it from my brain to paper to blog, and make it readable.
I wrote this back in July (it took a lot of Googling to find it. Fuck a tumblr search.) and now that we’re in what I called…
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Anonymous asked: if it makes you feel better, i went to a queer dance with my straight friend (who got traassshheddd) and she told the guy my friend was going to hook up with that she would "hunt him down and kill him" if he hurt my friend and that she would "take off her shoe" and "stab" the girl I went with if she hurt me. your heart, like hers, was in the right place. all that...
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What are you Studying?
Me: What are you up to this evening?
Employee: Oh, I've got class after work...
Me: Oh really? That's great. What are you studying??
Employee: Oh, um, actually, I've got anger management class...
Me: Oh....um, really? Why?
Employee: Oh, well, I assaulted someone...
Me: Oh ok....Well, um, have you learned anything from the experience?
Employee: Yeah...It's really fucking expensive to assault someone...
Me: Oh ok.. Great....
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Fragrant Brilliance
One of my favorite things about November in Los Angeles is the smell in the air. On any given night, walking around my neighborhood, I can smell the fragrant brilliance of burning fire wood and the sea. Since it’s been cold out, the night air has taken on a cool, crisp scent, and now that I’m living just one block down from the ocean; the combination of ocean, firewood, and pure air...
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Wipe Your Feet: It rained yesterday and today as I... →
tesslynch:
It rained yesterday and today as I was driving home from the valley I could see the mountains covered with snow, and then “Nightshift” came on the radio. If you’re a DJ and you play “Nightshift” you really can’t lose: somewhere there’s someone who’s going to make the Ultimate Satisfaction Noise…
Anonymous asked: You are amazing! But I have a request. Could you break your posts into smaller paragraphs? It would make them a lot easier to read.
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Anonymous asked: do you believe that kim zolciak is, as she claims, 32 years old?
Anonymous asked: are threesomes slutty? if someone has a threesome should they even stay facebook friends with them, how can you make a post-threesome not awkward and weird
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“If you hurt my friend in any way, or if you give him any Std’s, I will...”
– That’s what I told the guy who my friend went home with last night. I’m a Great Wingman guys…
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Well, Aren't you a Breath of Fresh Air?
Guys-
I keep telling people that I think are cool that they’re a breath of fresh air, because I love the way that T.I. raps it in “Fancy.”
It’s like there’s a rap video going on in my brain, starring ME.
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folkinz:
brandy: sittin’ up in my room
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Tryin' to make a Sista feel low?
All of a sudden, shit just got really hard, and I’m kind of freaking out because it could be really, really bad for me, and I have to ask LIFE the question directly: Life, is you tryin’ to make a sista feel low? Cuz you know all of that gots to go! Normally, I’d march on with my soldier-mentality, but I can’t seem to muster the energy to be strong for myself. I’m...
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katyhorror asked: really want to see your l word impressions!!!
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