I like boxing matches and the football games; I wouldn’t mind being an...– This CITY HIGH lyric is so profoundly “ME” I have to repeat it every time the song comes on…
Pejoratives suck, particularly when they apply to me, so I’m going to do what every sophisticated member of a “subculture” has done with their pejorative; I’m going to put my thang down, flip it, and then reverse it. I can spin paradigms for DAYYS, you guys. Formerly, F.A.G. was a slang word meant to bring a gay brotha like myself down, but you know what, no more. From...
Excuse me, if you soooo MUCH smarter than me, then why aint you got yo nose fixed??!
Me, Chace and Jen are going to get foot massages by little women.
Spent the night at my friend's house in Pasadena
And they have a Mac! (For to take pictures of myself!!!) And they have a Fireplace! (For to warm myself!) And we ate chicken chili! (For to fill my void!!!) And I learned about dolphin injustice and the movie, “The Cove” (For to learn about dolphin massacre in Japan-FUCK DAT!) And now I’m watching a biography on the Hell’s Angels!!! (For to educate, stimulate, &...
“Nice to Know You” by Incubus is my aaaaaaanthemmmmmmmmm
My biography is about to be called “OUTTA CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And ya LOVE it!!!!
The Cure: Close to Me
Close to Me
Whenever I hear “Close to Me” by the Cure, I have this spiritual, ethereal, déjà-vuish experience. Today, I was driving and “Close to me” came on, and suddenly, I wasn’t driving on the 405 South to Long Beach anymore. Instead, I was in a dark night club (somewhere in downtown L.A. in the late 80s?) with fluorescent green and pink lights flashing on me, and it’s hot, but I’m under a vent; and I’m...
You think you're a Mary, but really, you're a...
Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion was on the other night, and magically, I turned on the tv just as they were having that fight about which one of them was “the Mary” and which one of them was “the Rhoda,” and it got me thinking: I’m not really a Mary, but my own real life Rhoda, (who’s really a Phyllis), thinks he’s a Mary; thereby making ME...
What if Fancy Things do come in between?
Imaginary Missed Connection
Ok, so you guys should probably know that I’ve been a HOT MESS lately, and I need to start turning my situation around because I’m certainly not going to meet a current or even future ex-husband at this rate. I keep thinking to myself, ‘Edward, what if you are out and about and some man sees you and is remotely interested despite your obvious flaws. What would he honestly say if...
Hey, when you see [Redacted]’s friends, don’t tell them that I slept...– One of my BFF’s :)
Everytime I order a Cosmopolitan, I feel retro. Because they were so big circa 98-2004 in the Golden Era of Sex and the City, I feel like they’ve transitioned into retro-status, even though I’m quite sure that 6 years alone isn’t enough to quantify something as “retro.” But I hope to see a resurgence of Cosmo drinking, and I’ll definitely be doing everything I...
folkinz...: important cat related email →
i emailed katie a recipe today and our email chain started off nice, but quickly escalated into this: me: (included recipe) oh and this: katie: idk about your kitty chef, but mine is skilled in a variety of areas me: so what if you’re kitty can make sushi! my cat goes scuba… I’m D.Y.YYYYYYY.ING. Love you, Two :) xo xo xo xo
4 Days!!! (4 Reals!!)
Who would have though that my comedic homage to an extremely coked out (we talkin Lindsay-status) lawyer friend’s catchphrase, “4 DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!!” (in coke voice of course) would have inspired the title for the wonderful night of storytelling and TUMBLR meetups that I was privileged to attend last night? To sum it up: last night was tres magical, especially in a city like...
Broken Lenten Promises
I gave up fast food for Lent (since Sunday), and I’ve already broken my Lenten promise like 4 times! BAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! It’s not supposed to be like this: I’m supposed to exhibit an iron will like those 17 year old anorexic girls=they’ve got real strength. Sadly, I will miss the delicious, savory taste of the world’s most perfect meal: In-N-Out.
KiNda FaBuLoUs: Rain just won't let up- →
berwacky: Hi!! I haven’t been able to write lately because I’ve been out and about and it’s really hard to be profound on a blackberry (unless I’m twittering; I’m very profound on Twitter), but I’m going to pour my soul out in a very succinct way. Basically, on all fronts, including but not excluding:… You’d so get fan mail from 27 million! LOL-love you :)
Rain just won't let up-
Hi!! I haven’t been able to write lately because I’ve been out and about and it’s really hard to be profound on a blackberry (unless I’m twittering; I’m very profound on Twitter), but I’m going to pour my soul out in a very succinct way. Basically, on all fronts, including but not excluding: work, romance, friendships, finances, family, my neighbor, my...
“I got it bad and that ain’t good”-Nina Simone
I’m working late but rocking out to a Gypsy Kings mashup of all their hits. My Spanish blood is perculating
Also we discussed the handsome countenance of Miss Sela Ward with @molls
Talking about the eternal charm of Miss Swoosie Kurtz with @molls
Put it in a letter form
My next door neighbor is kind of a cunt. That’s for now
I wasn’t even feeling Diamond like that
Real Chicks do Real Thingsssssssssssss
Coolin by day, but at night workin up a sweat
How will I know if he really loves me?!
How will I know if he’s thinking of me!?
Baby Girrrrl you is DREEEEEAMIN
What is it with all the hotties and homos at Home Depot? I’m surrounded by all these tall, square jawed, handsome, burly men and I can barely contain myself. Maybe I need to start to learning how to install granite or something so I can come back more often.
So yes, my sister's ex just bought GIA a Louis...
As if that bitch wasn’t spoiled enough already? Real Talk: Ok, we get it, you love my sister, you want to get back together and have ten thousand of her babies.
folkinz: gretchen wilson: redneck woman ...