November 2011
October 2011
“Make sure you dress up and do your make up everyday or your students will call...”
– I’m always super supportive my sister’s ambitions to be a Professor
I Have Nightmares.: While you were starting your... →
i-have-nightmares:
perhaps closing out your dinner tab, or hopping a taxi to the next party, I sensed something was off, something wasn’t right.
I’ve learned that in the seminal moment you piece everything together, before it happens, time stops in your head.
It was a parking lot in front of a small market along…
1st World Gripes of the Week
Trust and believe that I have more than just “1st world problems,” although if one really took a step back and analyzed my problems-I suppose they would all be first world problems, as I have food, shelter, health, swaudacity, and all of my other basic Darwinian needs covered. Nonetheless, I think it’s important to vocalize what’s bothering you-even if they are just...
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The Diva Card
Last night, I pulled the Diva Card. If any of us learned anything from “My Super Sweet 16,” it’s that DIVAS MAKE THEIR OWN (DESTINIES), and this diva had to make his own last night. You only drop the Diva Card if you’re at the pinnacle of confidence and haughtiness and you have the determination to know-that once you drop the diva card-there is no going back. Truthfully,...
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E$ha-Status
Last night, I went out for my friend Traivor’s 31st birthday at Bazaar at SLS, and it was fucking fabulous. Now, if you’re hungry-you don’t go to Bazaar. You eat a cheeseburger before or after because I don’t know WHO they think they’re fooling with those bite-size tapas. No, baby, no. Nonetheless, the food is delicious and innovative, and the decor is very...
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High School Reunion
I skipped my high school reunion to go to a fabulous “writer’s party” in the hills. Recently, I bumped into someone from high school and they were all, “why didn’t you go?’ and I was like, “Gee, let me think about it-spend three very awkward hours with people who I don’t speak to, who I don’t care about, who weren’t that particularly...
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"Go Soak in the Tub"
Growing up, my father’s cure-all for any ailment-physical or psychological-was, “go soak in the tub.” Having groomed me to be this perfect little jock, I always came home from football practice with some sort of ailment (physical or psychological). Running around a field-banging your body into other boys (bigger and heavier than you) at a heightened velocity hurts-let me tell...
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I'm so official
I’m “so official” guys: everything I write today will have a “ladies and gentlemen” and “officially.” Like officially.
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My Silver Lady Fox
In yet another installment of “Yoga Makes My Life 100% Better,” I had a fabulous class today with my yogi, “Zen Jen” (her real name is actually Jen, so I’m basically Dina Manzo). Usually, my classes are comprised of me + 3-4 other (40-50+ years of age) “housewifey”-type women. Occasionally, some random corporate-husband-dude will join in; however, much...
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Anonymous asked: Oh my lord, Pam's we-we-we-us-us-us thing. Did that kill you? I rewound it an embarrassing amount of times just for Kyles face/"who's 'we'?" Pam is truly the worst, but in a schadenfreude kind of way I am so glad that she is on the show. Ok, that wasn't a question. I know you're done with RHONJ, but do you have any opinions on Jacqueline not doing the...
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Correction re: Fake!!!!
I just realized that I wrote I don’t wear fakes in my item of the day, but I do wear fake raybans (til I D.I.E.)!!! I just don’t like other fake stuff, but I love my fake $10-Raybans-they are indispensable to my happiness.
alexxxandro asked: Your sunglasses look like they cost $25,000 like Pam's.
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