July 2011
hey-its-joia asked: Hi :) I just wanted to tell you that when I read your post about being a karaoke queen i just about died because i'm the same exact way!!! I've got a connection with Katy Perry though. I think it's because our ranges are the same but there isn't a Katy Perry song that I can't rock out... and Pink adore her :)
I kinda do the same thing at karaoke because i try not...
I kinda do the same thing at karaoke because i try not...
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The Karaoke Queen
As you guys know, I teeter the line between karaoke appropriateness and full-on showboat, tragic karaoke-super star. It’s not like I’m not aware of it: it’s just part of who I am. In order to combat my inner karaoke queen, I try to do things so my voice won’t sound AS GOOD. Some might call that karaoke self-sabotage, but I like to think of it as self-preservation. My...
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Smelling Delicious
Two different dudes just told me I smell “delicious.” The first dude was like, “wow, you smell delicious,” and then the cute dude sitting across from him was like, “wow, you really do smell delicious.” You know when your swag is on tight and you’re feeling sexy and amazing? That’s the type of stuff that happens. Dudes tell you that you smell...
June 2011
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Words of Wisdom
On Thursday, my cousin, Maureen, is leaving Los Angeles to start a new beginning in Portland, Oregon, and I’m happy but also quite sad. Los Angeles is losing one of its best humans, as Maureen is one of the best human beings I’ve ever met. Seriously, I don’t say that flagrantly: she is absolutely incredible. Aside from being beautiful inside and out, she’s dedicated her...
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“If you treat him like a Rock Star, he’ll treat you like a Fan.”
– Last night, my friend, Tim, dropped some serious knowledge on me. I’ve heard variations on this truth before, but this is a succinctly, correct way to describe the phenomenon of making sure that someone truly earns your affections first. Don’t be giving that affection way without it...
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Additionally
In all honesty, I may or may not have been staring (via facebook stalking) at my new crush’s new boyfriend (there are a lot of “news” in there) and felt suddenly better upon seeing that I’m 100% better looking/more special. That may have also contributed to my increased “positivity” and uplifted mood.
ON A GOOD ONE
I don’t know what happened to me earlier, but I sank into one of my “moods” again. I started out the day on a really upbeat note, and then my mood started sinking, and I started feeling really sad; which led me to do some very unhealthy things. Aforementioned unhealthy things weren’t like “shooting heroin in the bathroom of my office-unhealthy,” but they were...
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The TUMBLR Colonic
I just finished un-following over 3,000 robot-shitheads. My dashboard is back to normal again, and I feel cleansed and happy.
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INVESTING IN MY FUTURE
So I just dropped like 19 BIG ONES on a new TUMBLR theme, because they say that you have to “spend money to make money.” Currently, this investment philosophy bears no real relevance to my blog. However, that’s not to say that in the future, when I’m wildly successful as an entrepreneur-writer-hip hop back-up singer/occasional ingenue/model (all thanks to my blog), I...
UNFOLLOWING OVER 3,000 PEOPLE
IS TOTALLY A GOOD USE OF MY TIME. TOTALLY. AND I’M NOT BITTER ABOUT IT AT ALL. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! THOSE ARE HAPPY SOUNDS OF ME INDIVIDUALLY UN-FOLLOWING ALL 3,000 OF THESE TUMBLR SPAMBOTS. ALSO, I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH THE FACT THAT TUMBLR HAS NO MASS-DELETE FEATURE. WHO NEEDS THAT TYPE OF EFFICIENCY? ALSO, PLEASE IGNORE THE OVERTLY AGGRESSIVE TONE OF MY ENTIRE CAPS TEXT. ...
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Hacked!
Two days ago, my blog was hacked! And as a 28 year old “internet-savy” man in 2011, I should have known better. At first, I thought nothing of checking out my “new follower,” and as soon as I clicked on their blog, I was re-routed to a tumblr login that said, “adult entry only.” This “tumblirq” login (I didn’t notice it said tumblirq in the...
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Karma (Round 2)
Karma taught me a damn good lesson this morning. While I was at Starbucks, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a truly ridiculous conversation. Two girls were gossiping about their teacher, and for some reason, I thought it was the funniest thing I had heard all morning. In the spirit of capturing a moment, I decided to use my brand new blackberry to audio-record these girls, so I could send...
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spicysays asked: Can I throw Chris Powell's (of ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition) name in the ring for a Hello Giggles honorary husband? His inspiration makes me cry weekly, I am woman enough to admit this. Do you think he's HH quality?
hotandbusted-deactivated2012011 asked: I love your Tumblr! Check out mine, which features mugshots of hot guys: http://hotandbusted.tumblr.com/. (Yes, I borrowed the concept from JailHunks, but they haven't updated in months!) Take care.
connectingflights asked: On RHOOC, what do you think of Tamra's boyfriend Eddie? Do you think he is as genuine as he seems?
chainletter2 asked: um I think I'm on your mom's side?...but as a drug addicted alcoholic I'm also on your side so...what's your mom's name?
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Sexual Hamburger Metaphors
I just thought I’d confess that I’m engaging in a sexual discourse using hamburger metaphors. Key words such as “mayo,” “spreading,” and “buns” have all come up into the conversation. I’m telling you guys this because I want you to know who you’re reading-the rants of a very sick, deviant, yet brilliantly audacious, creative...
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Panic in the Disco
Since my car is still out of commission, I’ve been tooling around L.A. in my old Land Rover Discovery, “the Disco,” which has a lot of “issues.” To quote Kanye West, this Discovery “be dealing with some issues that you wouldn’t believe,” which means that it has a ton of electrical and mechanical problems that I can’t even begin to think about...
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MollsSheWrote: "it's like people don't know we're... →
molls:
Some gross person left the following questions on my VYou page and I’ve already started into my Sunday Wine Time and I’m just going to go for it right here and let this person know what I think about their question:
“do u kinda rain on ed’s bubbly rainbow parade sometimes? why so snide?”
First…
I’m so glad my Wife commented on this. First of all, I have never felt like...
MollsSheWrote: seeing 'midnight in paris' with ed →
molls:
Ed: (right as the previews ended and the movie was about to start, maybe too loudly) Oh my God, I love Rachel McAdams! I’m so excited to see a movie with her right now!
Me: ME TOO!
Ed: ME TOO!!!
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Ed: (right after the movie) You know what this movie affirmed for me?
Me:…
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You Can't Hurry Love
Last week, I went out with my good friend Jason, who just recently fell in love, and we got to talking about life and love and the philosophy of life and love. Specifically, Jason told me that he was super glad he waited for the right guy, because if he had settled earlier, he probably wouldn’t have met “the one.” Since Jason is one of my closest friends in Los Angeles/the...
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S-Y-P-H-I-L-I-S
I was just about to ask one of my employees how to spell “syphilis,” but then I didn’t.
