Each and everyday (God willing), I become just a little bit more like Ke$ha. Last night, I was standing at the bar-waiting for my friend to come back from the rest room, and this lovely (HOT!) man told me that he “loved” my hair. He was like, “did you just get it cut?” And I was like, “OMG! I did!” And before I could even filter my thoughts through some kind of creep-filter, I was like, "And I LOVE YOUR BEARD!"
Having just consumed a tasty, but potent cucumber cocktail at Sur Lounge (we saw Lisa Vanderpump’s Bentley in front so obviously we had to stop by), my drunken mind was speaking a very sober thought-because I didn’t try to conceal my boundless admiration for this beautiful man’s beard. It wasn’t too coiffed or posery or oddly-shaped; it was perfection. Free of my creep filter, I asked this man if I could go a little bit further and grab his beard, and he said yes! So I obliged him and grabbed his beard.
And then I kept giggling because I felt just like Ke$ha, and I kept repeating “I like your beard” over and over, and the man didn’t treat me like a mental patient. On the contrary, he told me I could grab his beard as much as I liked and even encouraged me to grab it some more, and it was quite arousing and amazing. Ironically, just the night before, I bumped into the Drag Queen Psychic/Palm Reader again (that I first met last year), and her advice to me (as it was last year) was to flirt more-so flirt I did. I flirted and flirted and flirted and grabbed and grabbed and grabbed that beard.
You guys-here’s the thing: not only is this man super cute and nice-he’s Israeli and a FIRE FIGHTER. Let’s process this very clearly: 1. Jewish 2. Firefighter 3. Hot. It’s like some Weird Science ish. It’s like someone up above rang the husband alarm so furiously, and it was like BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP HUSBAND ALERT!!! Of course, this man said he was “straight,” but he let me grab his beard, we exchanged numbers, and we plan on going on a hike (before he leaves for his new firefighting job out of state); so perhaps I’ll be grabbing something else (in addition to his beard) sometime soon.
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- alexxxandro said: get it! I always love reading your posts, you have the best stories/experiences!
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- folawriting said: OMG, gimme your liiife! He’s so cute.
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- hoodrat-business said: straight my ass, git itttt
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- joaniepepperoni said: you sooo cute
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- stilljenn said: uh oh, get it, ed!
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- kathkathkath said: omg he is perfect. i am so jealous.
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