Real Talk-Disappointment

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:55:00 -0800

Despite what you may gather from this blog, I am not a confrontational person. Who needs it, right? Like, who needs a tense, stressful confrontation in the midst of all of the mundane, “everyday stress” of life? I certainly don’t. I don’t like being upset or disappointed in people, but sometimes-people disappoint me.

And I think it’s all the more jarring and irritating and hurtful when someone who you care about disappoints you, because you would expect them to behave better-to behave in a way befitting your normally high, positive expectations of them; however, when they transgress your happy expectation medium-it’s sometimes difficult to verbalize.

I am going through something like this-an existentialist, behind-the-scenes, closeted (relegated to the realms of my inward psyche) disappointment with someone right now. Actually, I am going through this with two different people in my life.

And both of these people have disappointed me by their behavior in different ways, and I haven’t said anything about it; and now I am torn about whether I should say something-or whether I should just coast along indifferently and see if they realize it on their own. Or I even wonder if they’d really care at this point?

What it boils down to is that I don’t feel truly valued or prioritized by these people, and when it comes to these two people-I constantly go out of my way to prove the depths of my loyalty, love, and sincere friendship. Nonetheless, I am not being treated in a reciprocal manner, and it hurts a little bit.

Whilst I’m “just a shell, I’m a sensitive man,” this isn’t one of those “overly sensitive” moments. Although you can’t force someone to care about you, or to care about your feelings (the way you care or consider their feelings), you would also hope friends would live up to the normal behavior befitting of a true, definitive, devoted friend (in the pure etymological sense of the word); and not just when it’s convenient for them-and that’s the realness.

KiNdAfaBuLous

Real Talk-Disappointment