Stepping up my Flirt Game
I’ve been reflecting a lot about how I interact with men, and I’ve noticed that I’ve been far too passive lately. And passivity doesn’t yield any activity.
When I was younger, I had no qualms, reservations, or “issues” talking to men, but the older I get-the less confident I feel about “flirting.”
I’m also fully aware that the act of flirting is so vom-worthy; like-why do we even need to flirt? It just seems so contrived and forced.
Can’t attractive dudes just be like, “Hey, I love you-wanna get married?
That’s inherently lazy, so even though I’m not actively looking for a relationship, I decided that I can always dust off my old flirt game and engage a few rude boys.
Yesterday, I noticed two distinctly cringe-worthy things while I was stepping up my Flirt Game:
1. During brunch at Cecconi’s, I coquettishly smiled at our married, extremely handsome, but very, very surly Italian waiter-who smiled back a lot (when he wasn’t being surly).
Everyone at the table commented on how rude he was, but I didn’t see it; there was something about him that I found extremely charming and irresistibly attractive.
When I asked my friend Ryan what she thought about him, she broke it down for me in the realest of ways: “Ed…you only like him because he’s mean to you.” Okay! Got it! Awesome! I’m a walking cliche.
2. Over cocktails at the Abbey, I bumped into a really cute, tall, but very taken Ginger friend of mine. Again, I’m not actively pursuing a relationship, so I figured I would flirt just for the sake of flirting.
Boys being boys-he and I engaged in a flirtatious friend-crush session; he’s very swoon-worthy I assure you. Before my bestie Jason and I departed for our next location, I decided to drop the trillest line:
Has anyone ever told you that you look like a delicious slice of Strawberry Rhubarb pie?
Trust when I say that it reads way more embarrassing than it sounded, but still: Strawberry rhubarb, because he’s a ginger, and I love food, get it? Ugh.
In trying to up my flirt game, I noticed two truths: a) I like men who are slightly mean to me, and I need to seriously, actively change that because that’s gross and cliche and really laughable at almost 30. b) Food analogies serve me well in the game of flirt. I’m going to keep using those.
I realize some of you may read this and think that I’m Bananas Foster (see, I can’t help myself).
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- pytsteph said: you are marvelous and inspire me to focus on stepping up MY flirt game.
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